~*~Merry Met~*~

WARNING: THIS MOVIE IS NOT MADE FOR PEOPLE WITH A BRAIN.

I awoke in a daze after a long sleep and realized it was time to leave for the movie theatre. I was disoriented from rest but I made my way there. Before I knew it, I was sitting in the front row with my large popcorn, large root beer and my notepad.

There was a lot of teenage fangirls around me. I had survived the herd on my way into the movie theatre, Timing was everything. Plus girls who read Twilight are slow-runners and stupid. I swear some chick in front of me, who was running when the doors finally opened, completely ran through an M&M stand-up poster in her rush to be first. It was funny. I mean, she could have ran around it...

Also, while I waited to get in I noticed a bunch of girls together that wore shirts saying, "TEAM EDWARD" and on the back said, "Do I dazzle you?"
I wanted to tell her no and I wished I had my own t-shirt that said, "TEAM KILL BELLA" and "Your death dazzles me"

Anyways, as soon as the light went out and the movie/previews were about to start all the girls screamed in glee. And I swear the movie screen got larger or something.

Luckily I had my notepad and didn't spare any moments to start writing my thoughts. I didn't hear Bella's first line because I was busy talking lol and the best ass shot in the movie was in the very beginning. It was a beautiful deer, thats all i've got to say.

I was so happy at Charlie's and Billy's characters.
They were amazing epic wins.
Billy saying stuff that made him try to be "with it" and dude, he is totally more with it then anyone I know. Charlie was amazingly funny and I love his gun. Also at one part that was funny was when they were at a restaurant eating and Mike Newton was humping/dancing with a pine tree through the window and Charlie asked if Bella wanted to join him.

The pepperspray references were epic.

I was surprised that Eric was asian..but at the same time it was pretty harsh stereotyping. Just because he's smart and is in the yearbook doesn't mean he's asian....but he was CUTE!!!
Plus, as soon as she got to school the first day you could tell all the guys wanted to jump her. Seriously, they were fighting amongst themselves in a 'teasingly' matter but they wanted to bone her so hard...

Which leads me to this next epic win. When Bella walks into Bio class she walks up to a fan and looks at Edward. The fan blows her scent to edward and I swear he got an instant erection. The bio scene could not have made Edward look anymore like a creepy constipated stalker.

Also when ever Edward's eyes got big I thought laser's were going to shoot out of them. I kept hoping...it didn't happen. But laser's seriously would have been appropriate, his eyes were HUGE.

Bella won the Golden Onion, I have no idea how that was relevant but I saw her holding it after bio.

A lot of the movie thus far was not similar to the book at all and there was no blood testing scene in bio. Also at one part Mike asked her to the Prom...even though it was supposed to be Tyler...who never asked her to the prom in the movie anyways. I guess the dance was not important either. It was all "PROM"

The mysterious Vampire sparkle wasn't even a sparkle..it was more of a glitter. And the reason for him showing his glittery body made no sense in movie format. It was done differently then in the book. Edward was going on about him being the perfect predator but Bella was just like, "I don't care, I'm not worried. You won't hurt me..." So he grabs her wrist and pulls her away saying, "I've got to show you something!" Yeah Edward, showing her your glitter is going to really make her think your evil...

Also when he put her on his back and started running I laughed so hard. The vampire's speed looked so...stupid. Not to mention them climbing trees and edward making a spidermonkey reference. Thats right, you heard me. He pretty much called himself a spidermonkey.

The best scene was the baseball scene, only because I secretly adore baseball and their outfits were cute...

and I was hoping that when they got mad and hissed and stuff that they would CG their face like when the Vampires from Buffy the Vampire slayer got mad. You know, all the creases and their eyes go crazy and they hiss like badasses.

ALL of the growling and hissing in this movie looked so corny. Just two faces in a shot of them up close and them growling like idiots.

My fav character did not let me down. Emmett was awesome, hands down. When he waved to Bella with a knife in a hand it made me want to scream with glee like a little school girl. Two thumbs up.

BUT Bella didn't faint when Edward kissed her...actually the whole kissing scene looked awkward as hell. It was a struggle. I was sitting there waiting because they were leaned forward for a good minute. Edward debating if he should kiss her and Bella waiting on him. Then when they do Edward gets so into it before he flies across the room to stop himself.
My only comment was, "is Bella wearing any pants?"
the awesome was no.

I was really looking forward to her fainting..the whole movie was a disappointment anyways..
Bella had seriously lazy eyes.

SUMMARY: 4/10

MUSIC: The only way I was able to tell that Edward was sparkling at first was because the music got all..tingly. The music made the seriousness funny in some parts.
ACTING: Decent on some parts but mostly sucked. Specially with Edward's laser eyes. Billy got them once too, when he saw Edward. I was hoping for a laser fight. Alice did a nice job of snapping Jame's neck and throwing the baseballs. The growling was HORRIBLE. Also the running was so dumb looking...
CAMERA ANGLES: normal camera angles, not very creative. The camera got titled in parts that didn't need that much emotional tension and when something was important it was just normal.


BEST CHARACTERS: Charlie, Billy and Emmett
EDWARD= Laser eyes
Sparkle= Glitter
Green= Good (that was a line in the movie)

Also in the beginning when Charlie looks over at Bella in the car it reminded me of my friends Sam movie in drama class when she looked at the camera for a split second. I laughed.


THE MOVIE WAS NOTHING LIKE THE BOOK.
IT WAS MORE OF A DISAPPOINTMENT.
I DID NOT FIND THE PLOT.

FIRE ZE MISSILES!

Next movie is Star Trek!!!!!!!!!!! EPIC

~Game Over


WORLD DOMINATION

A New Halo Book.

.Halo Movie

My New Laptop

New Final Fantasy Games

Reaching level 70 on WoW

To marry Smosh

ART TRADES

= Phantom of the Opera...my evil nemisis (sketched)


Photography Account 8D:


Friends


GODS AND IDOLS


The Red Door productions


Partner in Pr0n


Co-owner of




Let my honor shine upon..